I am SICK of This!!

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I AM SICK of people beating around the bush ‼️

Why are you so embarrassed to ADMIT you have aesthetic goals??

We have been made to feel like it’s not “body positive” to admit you want to change your body in any way.

You feel like you have to HIDE the fact that you want to shed fat under euphemisms about "feeling empowered" etc etc.

I say f*ck that!

It’s OK to want to feel fabulous AND look fabulous.
It’s OK to want to have a more hourglass figure or abs. 
It’s OK to want to build new curves.

A fit, toned body is signs of your hard work, dedication, & commitment. Seeing definition, & curves when you look in the mirror naked is EXCITING.

And it’s COMPLETELY OK to want this!

WHAT IS NOT OK is when you constantly HATE yourself and your body every time you look in the mirror because you DON’T have shredded abs.

It’s NOT OK to base your entire SELF WORTH on what the scale says each morning.

There is a MAJOR DIFFERENCE between saying:

“I am a bit heavier than I’d ideally like. I’d like to shed some stomach fat so I look tighter in my swimwear... I wonder who can help me do that?”

AND:
“I hate myself. I can never wear a bikini unless I have abs. No one will ever like me. I’m fat forever. This is impossible.”

Can you see the difference??

Hating your body is going to make this process a LOT harder than it needs to be.

AESTHETIC GOALS ARE AWESOME, and it’s 100% OK to admit them!!

And you CAN (and should) still be body positive at the same time.

Besides—How are you going to actually get abs/ tone up if you aren’t even owning that it’s what you want?

You don't shed fat--ESPECIALLY the stubborn belly fat--by accident.

(Or by slacking off and then telling yourself “the scale doesn’t even matter” to make yourself feel better about slacking off)

If fat loss is your goal, then cut the BS. Own your goal proudly!!

And take the steps to actually achieve it.

It’s 💯 ok to admit your aesthetic goals!!

Who agrees with me? Comment below.
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PS: I have exciting new programs coming in next month to help you look and feel amazing naked!!! Want to get early bird discounts?? DM your email address and I’ll add you to my early bird list!!

Food Pushers!

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Dealing with FOOD PUSHERS

What’s a food pusher? Basically someone who pushes food onto you even though you’re full.

And makes you feel guilty and rude if you don’t eat it

Sound familiar?

A client was struggling with this today, and I thought it would be a good topic to talk about here. Because I know many of you relate.

In our society, FOOD can often be interpreted as synonymous with LOVE 💕. (In Indian culture especially we display love by showering you with food!!)

So it’s very EASY to feel guilty saying “no”

...Because it’s literally like rejecting someone’s love!

So what should you DO??

1️⃣ First off: Understand the association. What are you really worried about?

If I don’t eat this...
>> Will they feel disappointed with me? (And think I’m rejecting their love)?

2️⃣Now understand that you can STILL love someone & be loved... and simultaneously not want to finish everything they pile on your plate.

3️⃣And be honest w/ them:
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“I have a fitness goal I’m trying to reach by X date so I’m watching my nutrition.”

“I loved the food and I love you too. But I am so stuffed right now and will feel ILL if I eat more.” (They don’t want you to feel ill do they?)
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Etc.

In theory they‘ll be supportive. If not, that is okay. You’re not responsible for their happiness :)

4️⃣ Remember: Grandma / auntie will think about this for 3 seconds of her life... and then move on to the million other things she has on her mind.

Staying on track in social situations DOES require some degree of confidence! You need to stand up for your goals and make decisions despite pressure and occasional judgement.

The broader issue is: Why do you feel the need to sacrifice your own success & well-being for someone else’s two seconds of happiness or fear of offending them?

Remember: It’s OK to stand up for your own desires and goals.

#askforit (Go watch my insta story about this) You will never receive what you want in life if you cannot stand up for your true desires.

#foodforthought.

How Your Diet Is Making You Gain Fat

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HOW YOUR DIET IS MAKING YOU GAIN FAT:

I'm gonna get SUPER honest here—

For the first time in literally YEARS, I had a TERRIBLE body image day. It came out of nowhere.

I woke up and immediately felt Heavy. Anxious. Panicked.

“Shit — why did I eat so much last night.”

My dress felt a THOUSAND times tighter than usual. All day it was a constant, nagging reminder of how much I ate the night before.

I caught myself on social media comparing— “why can’t my abs look like hers” "I'll never be as pretty as X" etc etc etc.

And all of a sudden it was like I was thrown back 5 years--picking apart the way I looked in pictures, unable to enjoy my day with the family because I couldn’t stop thinking about the way my body looked in this outfit.

I’m not trying to be patronizing. I fully know my body is still by societal standards “fit.” But for what it’s worth I am just sharing the behind the scenes stuff going on with how I truly felt.

Logically speaking there were clear reasons I felt off my game. My body was holding on to MASSIVE amount of water weight from traveling, my time of month, dinners out. I had not gained body fat overnight, but I was definitely feeling off my game.

And rationally, I’ve been doing this long enough to fully know this will flush out in a few days!

But for whatever reason… I still felt anxious! PANICKED!

I started to think the STUPID DUMB SHIT AGAIN! Like—

I need to skip breakfast today.
I need to avoid all carbs today.
I need to go burn this off right now.
How little can I eat today and get away with.
Etc etc.

You know how it goes!!

**I DID NOT do these things.** After doing that for years I know how stupid and futile is to do that. I used all my willpower to slap myself out of it in the morning. Journaled. Affirmed. Ate a balanced meal, and drank a TON of water. I woke up today feeling energized and back on point.

These panicked actions were my life on repeat every Monday for years. And I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT:

WHEN YOU ARE PANICKED, TRYING TO RESTRICT + BURN THINGS OFF WILL ONLY MAKE YOU **GAIN FAT** NOT LOSE IT.

How?

When you panic and slash calories hard…. it works for one day but then you get HUNGRY. And have massive cravings.

Then what happens?? You immediately OVEREAT when you get a chance. And then the cycle of restriction repeats come Monday.

Sound familiar??

Every time this happens you swing WAY over your maintenance calories, making you actually GAIN FAT. NOT LOSE IT.

Sadly, many of you reading this will go back to doing exactly this: Weekend overeating + weekday panic, restriction, and immediately trying to ''burn it off."

In fact you are slowly GAINING weight each week. Not losing it!!

Remember: The only diet that will work is the one you can actually stick to. So make it sustainable, and you won't need to overeat + restrict.

So - Are you going to keep going with this cycle, that is really not getting you anywhere, making you anxious, miserable, and panicked?

My New Fitness Goals

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MY NEW #FITNESSGOALS
If you’re like me… your fitness goals have ALWAYS been aesthetic.

Shed fat. Tone up. Lean Bulk. Cut. Shred. Diet. Calorie deficit. Calorie surplus. Macros. Cheat day.

Blah blah blah.

As some of you know a month ago I signed up with a new bikini bodybuilding coach to help me cut a few lbs before summer.

The goal was to “bring in my waist” and “tighten up my hamstrings and glutes more.”

That’s great and all. I’m sure we can keep doing it if I keep following the program. I’ve seen great results and dropped the lingering winter pounds.

Buuuut you know what I’ve been realizing??

I really don’t even want to focus on aesthetic goals right now.

I honestly LOVE the way I look!

I genuinely like this combo of muscle, abs, and & curves I got going on and want to maintain it.

I have ZERO desire to keep cutting or keep shredding at this point or 'bring in my waist more' or 'tighten my glutes more' or whatever.

WHY? WHY would I even need to do that?

So I can take “better” pics on Instagram?
So I can seem like a more “legit” coach or fit-spo?
So I can feel "better" about my body?

> Personally I think my pics are great right now (and you all seem to think so too).
> My clients TRUST my abilities. (And honestly their RESULTS speak for themselves.)
> I wore a bikini last week in Hawaii without “shredding” (and never felt more amazing)

I’m a very analytical person and LOVE numerical goals: How much weight did I loose, what’s my body fat percentage, etc etc. I was a math major.

I have NEVER been about “touchy feely stuff” and in my head mock people who workout "just to feel good.”

But… my goals are shifting.

I don't feel like my body needs to be “better” or “tighter” right now. Instead I want to use working out to energize me.

So. I left my coach.

And I’m trying something new:

My new fitness goal is to focus ONLY on “feeling amazing all the time”
This means:
>> Working out with weights… but also running on the beach! Yoga! Kickboxing! which are FUN.
>> Eating 100% intuitively to ONLY feel amazing and energized.

I trust my body will maintain... And after tracking for years I know what I’m doing intuitively.

Aesthetic goals are awesome and I’m SURE I’ll have them again in the future, especially if I do a photoshoot or something.

If I want to cut again I’ll go back to flexible dieting & tracking macros—it’s definitely going to be the most effective way to shed fat without being too restricted and still enjoy the foods you LOVE! (I still use this style with all my clients who are trying to shed fat).

But….. it’s also important to know how to eat intuitively and workout on your own so you don’t rebound.

So that’s why I teach ALL my clients how to do this as well.

Anyway let’s see how this new chapter of #myfitnessjourney goes. Comment below if you resonate with this!!

Let's Talk Stress Eating

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Let’s talk S T R E S S eating.🍪🍩🍫

I’m a human.

As a human, carbs make me happy.

It’s true: Carbs increase levels of serotonin, the “happy hormone” in our brain.

Yesterday I was feeling stressed and anxious (honestly for no good reason at all).

I went home late and stopped by the grocery store to grab some stuff.

Aaaaand… what do you know, I found myself wandering around the ice cream aisle at 9pm 🤦🏽‍♀️.

I could FEEL old habits creeping in… My brain was about to #TreatYoSelf a little too hard.

“You’ve been so on track this week, ice cream can’t hurt”
“Chocolate makes you feel better”
“What if it’s Halo Top”
“You worked hard today, you deserve it”
“What if you go home and bake brownies instead”

**CUE THE ENDLESS JUSTIFICATIONS**

Y’all know what happens next!

There is LITERALLY no such thing as “just one bite” of ice cream or “just one” brownie…. especially when you’re feeling stressed and anxious.

Before you know it you’re diving headfirst, have finished all of it, and hate yourself.

Thankfully I’ve had a LOT of practice dealing with this type of situation.

As hard as it was I immediately identified the craving as 100% mental. NOT physical — my body did not need nutrients. I was trying to fill an emotional void from being tired and anxious about whatever stuff on my mind.

So I grabbed what I was in there to grab and BOOKED it out before I could think twice.

But I was still feeling munchy when I got home! So I made some tea, took a shower, and distracted myself by reading my book. AND before you know it I fell asleep. I woke up feeling amazing! Not bloated & gross.

Remember: Stress eating does not make you feel better. It makes you feel 100 times worse the next day.

I dunno about you.🤷🏽‍♀️ But I personally enjoy feeling AMAZING 🤩 seeing my abs, and not feeling bloated 😂. For me, this is my “normal,” my standard, the way I want & deserve to feel all.the.time
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You are 100% capable of feeling like this too if you own up to your BS and move past it.

My Entire Journey

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What I’m about to share is going to be *extremely* personal. Most of my closest friends don’t even know this stuff about me.

I posted a transformation pic on Instagram... but I want to share the entire journey. The full story. Because that pic only scratches the SURFACE.

So. Here is it goes: - MY ENTIRE FITNESS JOURNEY:

I was a very chubby kid growing up. I hated PE and LOVED Doritos. My family (very lovingly) used to call me nicknames like “sumo” and “goondoo” (little fattie).

I didn’t really care when I was a kid. I was carefree and loved life!

I attended an all-girls school for middle school where I continued to feel confident and amazing about myself.

THEN.... When I was in 8th grade, my family moved to a small town in rural new Hampshire. It was probably the whitest town in America.

I started at a new school, a co-ed school. I was surrounded by cute boys and super skinny girls who could wear XS Abercrombie clothes and eat anything they wanted without gaining a pound.

I looked VERY different than everyone else. I was curvy, awkward, and and hairy. Puberty hit me hard.

I was really smart though. I threw myself into school. I was total kumon loving #mathlete.

But it felt like guys would not ever like me because I looked so different. The first time a guy asked me to a dance in middle school I felt like it was only because all the prettier girls were taken.

I felt like I had to be SUPER skinny if I wanted to fit in and be attractive.

I restricted my food hard, and developed a bad eating disorder. Like, so bad I lost my period for 3 months in high school.

I tried to hide it from my parents but they noticed and my mom made me work with a nutritionist to temporarily resolve my issues in high school and get to a stable weight.

I played a lot of sports and continued to stay active in college. But I still had a bad relationship with food and later in college my eating disorders re-surfaced.

College was a time where I again based my worth HEAVILY on external factors (grades, what sorority I was in, etc).

I did endless cardio, restricted my eating hard, and binged/purged often.

I tried lots of diets but would secretly await for the weekends where I could binge and blame it on alcohol.

I dated an AMAZING loving boyfriend through my 4 years in college (who I’m still dating today @wangjoshuah) but I spent the entire first two years sabotaging our relationship by flirting with other guys. Because deep down I did’t feel attractive and still needed the validation.

Several years ago, I graduated and moved to San Francisco.

I was still unhappy with my my body at the time and read that lifting weights would help me shed fat faster. So I signed up with my first an online coach.

I learned how to train AND eat via flexible dieting / tracking my macros.

And... MAN my body CHANGED!!!

I shed fat. Toned up.
I felt STRONG! I could do a push-up. I could squat things.
I no longer had anxiety about going out to eat, because I could fit food into my macros and knew how to be flexible with my diet.I no longer felt guilty after the weekends because I knew how to enjoy delicious foods while STILL reaching my goals.

More importantly... my body was no longer a MYSTERY THING that CONTROLLED my ENTIRE LIFE.

I had PROVED to myself that I could change my body, if I wanted to. I finally knew how, and I knew how to do it in a manner I actually ENJOYED.
The gym didn’t feel like punishment!

I could still be a foodie without feeling guilt each time I ate delicious food!

***I felt in control of my body. It did not CONTROL ME.***

I could have fun with my friends without changing clothes 10 million times beforehand.
I could take pics in a bikini without cringing.
I could enjoy date nights with my boyfriend and actually feel good about myself.

I felt so confident that I competed in a bikini bodybuilding competition last summer.

Even after after a few months of post competition weight gain… I was SHOCKED to find that I still felt amazing in my body.

I looked in the mirror NAKED EVERY SINGLE DAY and ONLY saw good things. This was a SUPER weird feeling for me to actually LIKE my reflection instead of picking it apart. Even when I had gained weight. And THIS was why I named my first group program #lookgoodnaked.

This strength and KNOWLEDGE over my body = POWER.

Once I felt more power over what my body felt like…. I started to feel power over my LIFE.

I was able to #askforit, ask for the things I TRULY WANTED in my life.

Not just a bikini body—we’re talking about the BIG things. The MASSIVE, life changing things-
>> I started my coaching business 💪🏽
>> Quit my prestigious Silicon Valley job that I secretly hated >> Grew my business $$
>> Traveled + said YES to opportunities like a casual last minute trip to Rome last weekend.
And most importantly…. I impacted the lives of thousands of others DAILY.

Along the way I also realized that my self worth really has absolutely to do with what I look like.
(But not gonna like I still like my abs…. lol. They are a daily reminder of my hard work and journey).

Life starts with your body.

Once you have power over your body = You have power over your ENTIRE LIFE.

What are you afraid to #askfor in your life because you’re insecure in yourself?
More money? A better relationship? Travel?

Your life is a choice. You can CHOOSE to live it at the next level if you want to.

It starts with your body, and how you see yourself.

NUTRITION has always been the thing that I struggled with the most in my own journey. I’m finally in a place where I feel amazing about food, fitness, and life.
 

SHOULD YOU WORKOUT ON YOUR PERIOD?

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SHOULD YOU WORKOUT ON YOUR PERIOD?? I get this Q very often in the DM. So here is my recommendation:
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Short answer: Yes, at least try and do SOMETHING light. Working out can help alleviate cramps, improve your mood, and help reduce period bloat. Your goals don’t stop just because it’s your time of the month and it’s not going to help anything if you take a whole week off each month to sit at home wallowing in chocolate ice cream. So do at least something light even if it’s just walking around or light cardio. It’s going to feel much better.
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Long answer: I know how uncomfortable your period can be. Especially if you have bad PMS. It can be particularly painful if you have PCOS, which is particularly common amongst Indian women. I personally get extreme migraines before my period and can often not workout at all.
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So don’t kill yourself. Do whatever you can.
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You will likely not NOT be able to push it 100% in the gym during your time of the month or during PMS week. The science behind this lies in the hormone progesterone. Progesterone has an inhibitory effect to testosterone which is responsible for muscle building and tendon strength. As progesterone surges during PMS our testosterone levels decrease so we feel less strength in the gym.
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Add on the extra bloat you get from water weight during this time... it just SUCKS overall, and you feel like a giant whale 🐳 .
So my suggestions for you are:
1️⃣ Do the best you can to stay on your routine. Personally I can’t lift as heavy during my time of month and have to tone down my workouts but I do try.
2️⃣ Drink a ton of water (aim for 3L!) and stick to lower sodium foods. Sodium makes you retain water and drinking excess water will helps flush out some of the water weight and bloat
3️⃣ Remember that any weight increase at this time is due to water retention not fat. This is why I suggest if you weight yourself you do it DAILY (in the AM right after waking up and after using the bathroom) instead of once a week, so you can see the TREND over time instead of day to day water retention fluctuations like this!!

WHY YOU AREN'T ASKING FOR IT

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#ASKFORIT
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Lose a few lbs. Get a new job. Ask for your promotion. Stick up for yourself in your relationship.
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“Just do it” — it’s so much easier SAID than done right?!
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I was taking a 12 hour flight back from Rome yesterday. And I asked for an upgrade.
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The gate agent said no initially to a first class upgrade. But then I asked again, and she found a way to make something work.
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So, instead of being MISERABLE in a CRAMPED, disgusting middle seat for 12+ hours…. I got a first row aisle seat where I could stretch my legs and didn’t have to step over other people. I could be the FIRST to get the drinks / snacks every time they came around and move around freely. (The aisle seat was also MUCH needed for me, because I ate so much dairy on this trip. LOL. Way TMI, I know. But it’s part of the story and part of the reason I really did not want to deal with a middle seat).
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Later on the flight, I was extra hungry. I hadn’t packed snacks, and we had 6 hours in the flight left.
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So…. I got up and asked the flight attendant for more food. And they gave it to me! They gave me an ENTIRE meal! AND I asked to swap an extra salad instead of the crappy bread!
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I GOT what I wanted and had an amazing experience… simply because I ASKED FOR IT.
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IT’s SO SIMPLE! .
But the saddest thing is that so many of us are AFRAID TO EVEN ASK for this stuff!
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“What if they say no?”
“I feel awkward”
“There’s no way it’s going to work”
“It feels greedy”
“I don’t deserve an upgrade anyway”
“There are probably so many people ahead of me”
Blah blah blah
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(And since I’m still a fitness page let me just say how it’s the same scenario when you go to the gym! “I feel awkward / What if the guys judge me / What if I look dumb / What will they think of me”?)
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I’m sorry but if you can’t even ask for an upgrade on an airplane…. How can you expect to ask for a PROMOTION? (A literal upgrade in your life!)
If you love weights but can’t get over being awkward in the gym how can you expect dream body?
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WHY?
WHY do you feel so awkward asking for what you want?
WHY are you SO AFRAID of some stranger’s rejection?
WHY are you playing small and settling, when you could be living life on your NEXT LEVEL? More money, better relationships, a hotter body, everything?
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I KNOW WHY!
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It’s because deep down you truly don’t believe you’re worth it -
You don’t believe you DESERVE the first class seat.
>> The hot body….
>> The confidence to wear that crop top…
>> The sexy bikini that you can flaunt without a coverup…
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Deep down:
>> You don’t truly think it’s possible for you.
You think a fit body is something “other girls have” but you could never have.
>> You see a little success…. but then sabotage yourself by binging because deep down you still see yourself as chubby / not good enough inside.
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And WHY is THAT? Let’s peel the onion one layer deeper:
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At some point in your life, we are all subconsciously taught that you were unworthy or undeserving of the body you truly want:
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>> Some auntie made a comment about how you’ve gotten chubbier… and it made you feel like that’s who you are for life.
>> A guy broke up with you and it made you feel unlovable.
>> Your parents pushed and pushed you, and made you feel like you were never good enough in who you are because you constantly had to impress other people.
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All these moments in our lives, they accumulate and AFFECT the way we are today, our SELF-worth..
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And unless you truly understand what it is that’s holding you back, deep down… and FREE yourself from it, you will never truly have lasting success with your fitness goals.
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You may drop a few lbs, but you will self sabotage and re-gain the weight back, because deep down you don’t think you’re worthy of this hot body.
You will binge eat because your mind wants to pull you back to how you TRULY see yourself inside.
You will slack off with your workouts, because deep down you feel like ‘what’s the point, I’ll never be fit anyway.’
You will feel unworthy and undeserving of your body, your success, the mansion on the beach, the extra money with the promotion… literally everything!
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Let me share with you a secret.

If you don’t have what you want in life… it is because:
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1. You haven’t decided you’re going to have it (Remember: success is a decision).
2. You don’t truly believe it’s possible for you.
3. You don’t think you are worthy/ deserving of it.
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If it’s #2 or #3, ask yourself the hard questions. What, in my life, made me feel like this is not possible for me to do this? made me feel undeserving?
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All those times you brushed things off in your past, tucked them away and said you are ok… they are keeping you from accomplishing things in your present life.
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We all have shit we haven’t dealt with. ESPECIALLY high achieving women.
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So. Think about it.
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Do you want to live your LIFE in the mother-fucking first class aisle seat like the BAWSE babe you are inside? Or do you want to stay in the cramped, smelly middle seat?
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If you’re ready to #ASKFORIT and upgrade your LIFE…

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PS - READY TO SHED FAT, TONE UP, and FEEL AMAZING WITHOUT giving up the foods you love?? 


IT’s HERE: MY NEW nutrition-only bootcamp


6 weeks. May 21 - June 20. **Limited spots.**

EAT for the body of your dreams without ever being restricted: Learn everything about flexible dieting and ALL the other strategies that I use with every one of my clients to get them to SHED fat, TONE up, and TIGHTEn up their bods to feel AMAZING in their bikinis this summer.
 

INTERESTED? CLICK BELOW TO LEARN MORE - HURRY! SPOTS ARE FILLING FAST!

 

 

WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK?

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Feeling sappy and emotional 😭
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This is the first “real” vacation I’ve taken in months, after grinding nights and weekends in and out to create my dream life.
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This has ALSO been one of THE MOST emotionally draining weeks of my life, as I have been dealing with people close to me making comments that cut deeply
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This trip makes me feel immense GRATITUDE for everything POSITIVE I have created for myself🙏🏽
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💓I have a healthy, fit, and strong body that I’m super proud of.
💓I have an amazing business doing what I LOVE helping women be the BEST versions of themselves via fitness & nutrition.
💓I have a laptop lifestyle that lets me work anywhere I want, Hawaii this week and Rome next week. Both last minute trips booked 1 week ago 😅💓I have THE BEST, soulmate, clients who know they will get nothing less than phenomenal results for themselves. Whether you’re my 1:1 client or in a group program I am SO proud of you. I TRULY LOVE you, believe in you, and support you with my entire being ❤️
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In the LAST 1 WEEK ALONE I have been called a shame, an embarrassment, a disgrace to my family, that I need to have more modesty, that I’m not actually empowering women because posting pics of my body is shaming their bodies (??).
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Also what will “Log Kya Kahenge” (what will people think?) if they see my pics?
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WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?!
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I don’t see the “log” (people) helping you actually LIVE your LIFE to the fullest, instead of HIDING your potential under your cardigan because you feel insecure all the time.
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The “log” don’t see how your confidence DIRECTLY translates into:
⭐️ Your PROMOTION 💰💰💰
⭐️ The hot DATES you enjoy without worrying about if your clothes still fit or the food you’re eating
⭐️ The PICTURES you admire without cringing at how “fat” you look.
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All I see are the “log” miserable at home, taking out their own insecurities by judging other people.
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So for that I‘m grateful I decided to fuck what the log kya kahenge and move on with my life. 👋🏽 I’ll BE on the BEACH while you go talk about my bikini 👙😂
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Ready to feel confident, sexy and strong? APPLY for online fitness & nutrition coaching with me. Link in bio. *Limited spots*, pre-BOOKING for May and late April
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Do you feel like a failure in life?

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What determines your own SELF-WORTH?
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Do you feel like a FAILURE if a guy doesn’t like you?
If you gained some weight?
If you don’t land a certain job or promotion?
If aunties/ uncles/ your parents make comments about you?
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If you said yes… you’re really not in control of your self-worth, are you
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Growing up my self worth was determined entirely by my parents approval, grades, and what college I got into.
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Then in college I was determining my worth by what exclusive clubs I was in or whether guys liked me. I felt like a FAILURE in life if I didn’t get into a “good” sorority or got attention from boys. (Yes even though I had an AMAZING boyfriend I still sought attention from other boys too because that was how I determined my self worth).
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In the tech industry I determined my self worth based on my title and how much money I made. I felt like I was a failure if I didn’t make X amount per year or work at a “good” company that people had heard of.
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Then in the early days of starting my fitness journey I was determining my self worth by what my body looked like and whether or not I woke up with “abs.” I would get anxious if I looked “fat” in pictures or if I posted something on IG which got just a few likes.
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CAN’T YOU SEE THE PATTERN here? >> If you constantly seek your self-worth from other people... you’re NEVER going to good enough!!
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You’re going to always need MORE and MORE approval from someone else around you, the next boss / relationship / friends etc. And you will CONTINUE to seek this forever, and ever, until you die trying to prove yourself to everyone around you.
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I FINALLY have realized that the only person who can give me self worth… is ME!
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I can 100% say that at this point in time my self-worth is determined ENTIRELY by my own SKILLS, CAPABILITIES, and ABILITY to impact other people’s lives.
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If you took away EVERYTHING I have right now-
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My job, my apartment, my income, my fit body, I can say with FULL confidence that I would be able to bounce back based entirely on my skills, mind, and capabilities.
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Yes it would suck, but I have so much internal self worth and I am so fully confident in my capabilities and Self, that it would literally not matter. No one can take that from you!!
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I had an incident recently which made me realize this yet again, that YOU are the only person who can give yourself self-worth. I found myself starting to feeling like a failure because of a comment a family member made about my content, and I started to feel embarrassed & ashamed.
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But remember: Literally no one can determine yourself worth except YOU!
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Literally no one can make you feel like a failure / shame / etc except YOURSELF :-) .
I wish I could go back in time and tell myself this. Since I can’t I’m ranting about it here. I KNOW someone needs to hear this today!! <3
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WHY I LEFT MY 6-FIGURE TECH JOB TO BE AN ONLINE COACH

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🎉 LIFE UPDATE! 🎉

I have been hinting for weeks that I have some exciting life news and I am SO EXCITED to finally share it with you. I am terrible at keeping secrets so half of you already know this but if you don’t here it goes.

After a few years in the software industry, LEFT MY SOFTWARE JOB LAST WEEK to GROW MY COACHING BUSINESS FULL TIME , BUILD my fitness brand, and continue helping driven women to feel…. SEXY, STRONG, and CONFIDENT for LIFE.💪🏽👏🏽🎉

As most of you know the past several years I’ve been a Product Manager in Silicon Valley. This is a prestigious job in the valley that is a mix of business, design, and management. I studied math and computer science as an undergrad and went into this career because it was well-respected and seemed interesting at the time. But after several years of doing this I’ve finally had to accept what I’ve felt in my heart for a while: That no matter how prestigious this job is, I honestly got little inspiration or fulfillment from my work and working in software is just not what I want to do with my life. I felt this nagging empty feeling for a while, but stayed in it for too long because I felt like a cushy corporate career is what I “should do” after graduating from an Ivy League school... and I was terrified what people would think if I left my 6 figure  salary & such a prestigious title. (#LigKyaKahenge).

I started my online Fitness coaching business and Instagram page as a SIDE hustle over the past year in my nights and weekends because fitness + nutrition is something I’m super passionate about, and I love helping other women transform their bodies + level-up their entire lives.

As you guys know I went through a lot of body image and food issues myself, and got out of that through learning proper nutrition + effective strength training for my body. My increased confidence changed my entire LIFE, and this is why I personally feel so strongly about helping other women who love food transform their bodies without feeling deprived.

Over the past year my coaching business has been one of the few things that has made me feel FULLY alive, vibrant, and completely thriving. I THREW my heart and soul into growing it and giving my clients 100% in literally A L L all my free time and nearly every waking hour of the last year.

I won’t lie to you and tell you that this was easy, because it wasn’t. Launching, growing, and expanding my business WHILE maintaining a demanding full-time job has been hard and exhausting, especially over the last few months as things have picked up business wise.

I have barely seen my friends, I have sacrificed countless social engagements to work, have had many rejections & failures, and honestly have spent endless nights working until very early hours in the morning (*after* a full day of working at my job). I have legit not watched Netflix in months and not sure I even remember my password. This is the REAL reason I decided to take last week off from the gym and why I decided not to compete in another bikini competition this spring.

BUT I am not complaining even one bit!!!!!!

It has been so worth it and rewarding to see EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of my clients exceed in reaching their goals 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 They are fitting into the tight clothes they dreamed of, doing full pushups and pull-ups, rocking their cute bikinis, and generally feeling super sexy, strong, and more confident than they had DREAMED of. It fills me with so much happiness and pride to see their amazing progress every single week and see their lives + confidence ENTIRELY transform. It has been insanely rewarding to see my women progress, my Instagram page grow, as well as see my business grow to a point where I am on a path to finally replace my tech income.

STARTING TODAY I’m THRILLED to be focusing FULL TIME on my coaching business + brand to help more women across the WORLD achieve the body and life of your DREAMS

It has been one of my dreams since I was a kid to work for myself. I know it’ll be hard A f but I’m excited for it. GOOD BYE corporate 9-5 life forever 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽 ✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽#weout #peaceout

I have tonssss of exciting things planned for the next few months including a kickass group program I’ll be dropping very soon to get you ladies looking tight, toned, and confident for summer bikini season. 👙👙PLUS I’ll be opening more 1:1 spots! So all you ladies on the waitlist I’ll be reaching out to you this week :) 👙 Stay TUNEDD :) :) gals  💪🏽

So excited for this next stage  🙌🏽

 

HOW I WENT FROM CHUBBY MATHLETE TO SPORTS CAPTAIN IN HIGH SCHOOL

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When I was 16 l decided to join my high school’s cross country running team. I was TERRIBLE at running but I wanted to get better at it and stay in shape between my other sport seasons.
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My first running practice was one of the worst experiences of my entire life. I thought I was going to die. I was THE slowest one on my team. I cannot describe to you how excruciatingly embarrassing this was for me. I came home in tears SOBBING because I was so ashamed in front of the popular kids on the team.
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But, I had committed to doing it. So I stuck with it and forced myself to go to practice every damn day.
Even when I was embarrassed. Even when I was sore.
Even when I was tired or on my time of the month.
Even when it was cold and there were snow flurries out in New Hampshire.
Even when I came in DEAD LAST in my first three races of the season.
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I just kept going. I kept showing up to practice, listening to my coach, and pushing myself to get a little better each time. He had a quote: **Doesn’t matter if you’re the lion or gazelle, when the sun comes up you better be running.** I still think of this every day.
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Eventually it paid off... I started getting faster, I started actually enjoying practice, and I started to beat my race times. I felt like I was flying.
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My senior year I got selected to be one of the jv team CAPTAINS. 👏🏽
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Later I went on to run a half marathon.
And then a mini triathlon.
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Bottom line is we all start somewhere. If you really commit to something FOLLOW THE FUCK through with it and don’t be in the 99% of people who bitch and quit. Keep showing up, even when it’s hard. Learn from your failures. Trust in your coaches / trainers - you hired them for a reason, so listen to them.
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If this chubby, Indian Mathlete could become her high school’s cross country team captain (in an all white town in rural New Hampshire).... imagine what you can do if you with your life if you just commit and follow through. #liftwithdee
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Double tap if you resonate with this ❤️
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PS I have HUGE life news I’ve been dying to share with you which I will be discussing in great detail in tomorrow’s post. You don’t want to miss this. 🔥
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EATING DISORDERS - OPENING UP ABOUT MY EXPERIENCES

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UPDATE - GO WATCH THE LIVE STREAM I DID on this topic, which I posted on YouTube: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD2symJRhhk&

It’s National Eating Disorder Awareness Week 👏🏽. I have had symptoms of 3 eating disorders in my life ranging from moderate to worse: anorexia in high school, bulimia in college, and orthorexia post college (which is an obsession with eating “right” with no deviation from strict healthy eating rules and extreme anxiety when you don’t eat “right”).
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I have been through the extremes of restriction, struggling through the lowest depths with body image, restricting so much I lost my period, always comparing myself to others, constantly anxious about what I am eating, and obsessed with food and exercise and unable to think about anything else. Not many people around me knew this.
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I finally broke out of it and achieved a balanced lifestyle and really great relationship with my body a few years back. Learning to train with weights and eat in a manner that gets me results without being too restrictive (#iifym) played a big part in this. 👏🏽 .
This was a big reason I decided to become an online fitness coach myself: To help other women who L O V E food learn how to shed fat sustainability, tone up, and feel #SexyStrongandConfident 👙💪🏽👯‍♀️
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It pains me so deeply to see women feeling like they need to go to extremes to shed fat. doing things like cutting out carbs, extremely low calorie diets, or spending hours slaving away on the treadmill to see results. (....and then still hating their bodies despite all this.....). I have been there and let me say that is 100% just so not necessary, and honestly counterproductive to sustainable fat loss. The more extreme your method the harder it’ll be to stick to so the worse results you’ll get. Plus the faster you will rebound because all you will want is all the things you have restricted for so long.
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Anyway: I posted a YOUTUBE VLOG opening up about all about my experiences with eating disorders and all the details of what it was like living with each one. Link is in my bio so you can go watch it. This is my first time being so open straight up on social media about this, but I hope it helps some people. 😬😬
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Comment below if you resonate with any part of this!! ⬇️ #liftwithdee

YOU ARE NOT A STARVING ORPHAN

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“Finish your plate, there are starving kids in India.”

Did your parents ever tell you this growing up?

Wasting food is bad. There are starving kids in India / Africa who don’t have food. We worked so hard for you to have all this food. So you better finish it.

If you don’t finish your plate you’re wasting your parents’ hard earned money.

How can you be so ungrateful?

Most of us have this SCARCITY MINDSET around food ingrained so deeply into our subconscious minds even in adulthood.

That food is a scarce resource. Something you constantly have to protect, finish, and hold onto. It’s something RARE that not many people have.

You’re lucky to have it and should take advantage of every opportunity you’re around it.

Whenever you’re around new or tasty food you have to eat it all. Subconsciously your mind is telling you “It’s never going to be there again” “You need to take advantage of having all this” “You need to load up on everything and then go back for seconds.”

For me this scarcity mindset led me to develop binge eating tendencies even in adulthood, which I have since re-wired to truly enjoy food without feeling like it’s a scarce resource.

You need to RECOGNIZE this scarcity mindset so you can re-wire it.

You’re not a starving orphan in India. Food is everywhere it’s fully possible to savor it without stuffing your face.

SIDE NOTE - This is why I hate using the term "CHEAT MEALS" with clients. Cheat day depends on scarcity.

And this makes us feel anxious, needy, and greedy.

You're not "cheating" on anything when you're enjoying food. Food can and should be FUN.... even when you're losing weight. Food is abundant everywhere and is not something to be hoarded or feared in your life.

Do you struggle with understanding this?
Are you able to REALLY enjoy yummy food in moderation without feeling guilty and hating yourself the next day?
Or do you feel guilty, feel like you need to burn off the food you just ate?

Think about it.

Apply to work with me if you're ready to LOVE food... while looking sexy, strong, and confident.

THE STORY OF HOW I TAUGHT MYSELF CHINESE

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THE STORY OF HOW I TAUGHT MYSELF CHINESE.

Dating interracially can be really hard at times...  Even after dating my boyfriend Josh for over 6 years.

I decided to learn Chinese to impress Josh's parents, who speak primarily Mandarin.

One year later, I am now well on my way to being fluent.

QUICK: What was your immediate reaction to reading this?
“That’s so hard.”
“I could never do that.”
“I’m not smart enough to do that.”
“How do you even have time for that.”
“I’m so bad at languages, it’s just not my thing.”


I don't let myself think this way.

The way I think is more like:
“If I want to learn Chinese, I will fucking make it happen.”

Bear in mind, I am not particularly good at languages. 

And don't really have a ton of "time." I have a full time job in Silicon Valley. I workout almost every day. I coach women. I run an Instagram page. I have a social life. I am busy as hell.

But instead of telling myself LIES like, “I don’t have time” or “I’m not smart enough,” instead I said, “I'm gonna find a way to make it happen.”

I decided that it would happen. And I took small actions consistently to make it happen.

I started by signing up for an online course with a bunch of little videos.

And then I MADE the time to watch them.

I used all the “dead” time in my schedule.

I watched the videos while I straightened my hair in the morning.
While I brushed my teeth.
While I did the dishes.
On my morning commute.
When I was pooping.

It SUCKED at first. I felt super lazy and I never wanted to turn my brain on when I could just be scrolling social media instead.

But I forced myself to do it. I set up ways to stay accountable. I used buying new workout clothes as a reward if I had practiced Chinese every day that week.

I fell off the wagon MANY times. I would have a great streak for a few days, then come to a dead stop for a few weeks.

But EVERY TIME I fell off the wagon I got back on, and I picked it back up, even if it was just for 10 minutes a day.

When I felt unmotivated, I thought of my “WHY”: Why did I even start?
I wanted to see the look on their faces when I speak Chinese to them. I want to give a speech in Chinese at our wedding one day.

Every time I felt unmotivated, I visualized our looming Christmas trip to see his family in Memphis, Tennessee where they live. I thought of the look on his parents' faces when I spoke Chinese to them. When I went to all their Chinese parties and knew what was going on and could speak to all his relatives.

I thought about my wedding and the speech I was going to make at it.

Visualizing this made me HUSTLE my ass off to practice, because honestly, I could not bear to embarrass myself on this Christmas visit to Memphis.

Eventually it got to a point where practicing was a habit. It started to feel WEIRD when I came home and didn’t immediately play a Chinese video.

I did this consistently for nearly a year. And now, one year later, I am highly conversational. Not yet fluent, but getting there.

…..and I think I DEFINITELY impressed Josh’s family when we went to visit them last Christmas. :-)

You decide your reality.  If you tell yourself "I'm not smart enough to do X" or "I will never have nice abs" .... you're never going to get the abs.

Then once you decide to make it happen, it’s the small actions, every day, done correctly and consistently that will get you results.
 

You won’t get a six-pack in two weeks.
I won’t get fluent in Chinese in two weeks.
But if you stay consistent, do a little SOMETHING — the right things — every day, and get back on the wagon each time you fall off…
You will get there <3
#liftwithdee

For those of you wondering, I primarily used the YoYo Chinese online course (which I HIGHLY recommend) and the ChineseSkill vocab app.  I also found these YouTube videos of Chinese cartoons and played them on repeat over and over. In addition, I sometimes listened to these Disney songs in Mandarin and tried to learn new vocab by studying the lyrics in there. 

Are you the girl at the party who is ALWAYS BY THE SNACKS?

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Are you the girl at the party who is ALWAYS BY THE SNACKS?
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Do you NEED to try a bite of every different donut just to see what each flavor tastes like?
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When you go out to eat do you make your friend order something different just so you can try their food too?
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If you’re saying YES to these things.... I feel you so hard. Because this is literally me.
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I love food and honestly will never be one of those girls who just “forgets to eat” or “just isn’t hungry” ..... because lessss be real I can always eat no matter what time of the day.
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*BUT*
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This also meant I constantly turned to food as comfort.
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As a stress reliever. Or as a constant reward.
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“I had a hard day so deserve these cookies.” I treated cookies like they were a scarce resource I had to cram into my mouth like there was no tomorrow.
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I’d do great during the week but then the weekend would hit me hard. I’d feel like like total SHIT when I woke up bloated and had fucked up all the progress I made during the week.
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Clearly this didn’t help with “operation get abs.”
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The NUMBER ONE factor in my progress to lean out, tone up, get more ab definition, and overall feel better about myself has been my NUTRITION.
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Learning to balance “REAL LIFE”: Eating out, having a social life, my work schedule, travel… while still getting to my goals.
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Nutrition is 90% of your results. If you don’t have that down, don’t expect to see anything really change.
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That is why I am super excited to announce:
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**MY NEW OFFERING: NUTRITION COACHING**
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Up till now I’ve offered one comprehensive package with both training + nutrition. I still offer that. But if you feel like you got the training part of the house down, or aren’t ready for that yet, I can help you with just the nutrition side of it.
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Let’s make it happen ladies.
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>> APPLY NOW and we can get you feeling hot as shit right in time for summer 🔥👙
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And leave a comment if you are also that girl at the party who is always by the food ⬇️ ⬇️

level-up your entire life

Confidence life

HOW IS YOUR LACK OF CONFIDENCE HOLDING YOU BACK FROM LIFE?

It’s so much more than the bikini.
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A lack of confidence was holding me back from:
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MONEY. I wasn’t confident enough at work to really ask for a raise, increase in pay, or negotiate salary as much as I could have even though I knew I deserved it.
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MY RELATIONSHIP. I was insecure about myself and always needed validation from many different guys, which affected my relationship with my boyfriend. (@wangjoshuah and I have been dating for 6 years now, but if you knew us in college you know that the first two years we were verrrry off and on with our relationship, and that was mostly because of me).
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FRIENDS. I was always subconsciously stressed out about what I looked like or was wearing instead of being able to fully enjoy my time with my friends (Many of you ladies have also told me you feel similar things and said you feel like “the fat one” when you hang out with your friends even though you know you’re not!)
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SANITY. I wasn’t confident enough to say “no” to things, and I had so much FOMO about missing parties and events that I said yes to hanging out with everyone all the time and then got super overwhelmed because I had no time to myself, ever, which just made me more stressed out.
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HELPING YOU. I had been thinking about starting a fitness Instagram page for years but never did it because I didn’t feel confident in myself and was worried what everyone would think because “I’m not fit enough yet.” If I hadn’t started my page I wouldn’t have impacted so many others on their fitness journeys.
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Think about it gals! What are you missing out on because you aren’t confident enough in yourself to do it?
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Is it holding you back from:
- Your relationships and your love life?
- Having fun with your friends because you always feel like “the fat one”?
- Wearing the clothes you really want to wear?
- Applying for your dream job instead being stuck in the “safe” one you have now?
- Starting your own business, youtube channel, etc because you’re too worried about what people will think?
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Annnd what are you going to do to change this?
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What's my job?

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It’s 7pm and you finished a long day at work. You come home exhausted and starving.

You rummage through your cupboard and find some chips, and inhale them all because you’re just so hungry and stressed out.

You COULD workout now. Orrrrr, you could grab some wine, Netflix, and ice cream to get your mind off your stressful day. What do you do?

It’s 5pm on Friday and all your co-workers want to go to happy hour. But…. it’s leg day today. What do you do?

You’re on a business trip in Vegas for a week. You have no time to workout, and all you have available is rich restaurant food all week. What do you do?

Your coworkers all go out for lunch together every day and you don’t want to be THE WEIRD ONE with the meal prep. What do you do?

These are all things I face every day balancing work and fitness goals. I’m sure many of you do too.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m not a full time “Instagram Fit Person.”

In addition to fitness coaching I also work at a tech startup in Silicon Valley. I am a Product Manager: I lead a team of engineers to build software products. At the moment I coach just 3-5 clients a month because I want to give you my full attention so you succeed..
Until now I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t talk about my corporate job on Instagram because: “It’s not relevant. I should only post fitness stuff”

But the REAL reason?

I realized I have been holding back on talking about my job because of STUPID dumb subconscious fears like:

“What if people don’t take me seriously because I don’t do fitness stuff full time?” “What if they think I’m not as legit?”

You guys! How RIDICULOUS are these thoughts?

It’s so important to show you how to balance fitness, work, & life. I don’t want you to think that I spend all day every day working out. Because I don’t. You CAN still get a hot body and reach your goals despite the late nights, business trips, etc.

And I get what you’re going through. Because there are days I come home exhausted and want to choose the Netflix& ice cream instead of the gym and don’t want to be the weird one with the meal prep.

It’s not easy. But if you want it, then you will make it happen. And I can help you.

Do you spend HOURS getting dressed?

Do you spend HOURS getting dressed?

Do you spend HOURS getting dressed?
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Change clothes 5 million times trying to find something that doesn’t make you look fat?
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I used to waste hours and hours shopping online before big events or outings. I would obsess for WEEKS before formals or weddings about what dress I was going to wear and what shoes and what accessories etc etc etc.
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I would end up buying five dresses online, try them on, hate them all, and then have a mental breakdown about how none of them fit right and how I felt terrible and chunky in all of them. I’d end up returning them all and just wearing one of my old dresses I knew was safe.
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(There was never anything wrong with the dresses. And I didn’t look chunky. They were all super cute. I just never felt like they were the “perfect one” that made me look good).
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Girls lemme tell you a secret.
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THE PERFECT DRESS DOESN’T EXIST.
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Only YOU, and the way you carry yourself, can make yourself look perfect.
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I didn’t realize this. I didn’t even think it was possible to throw on the first outfit you find, spend 15 minutes on your makeup… and STILL look hot as fuck without having a meltdown of insecurity and stress before every single event or outing.
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I didn’t think this was possible until recently when I did it, and was shocked by how easy it was.
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Every party I went to this past holiday season, every outing with friends, I literally have thrown on the first cute outfit I’ve found and marched out the door to have fun with my friends (who, by the way, I *guarantee you* don’t remember what I wore and don’t spend their time thinking about it).
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Cute clothes, makeup….girls, these are amazing, but if you are not confident on the inside it will show.
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Even when I was in a “perfect” dress I was constantly tugging at it, reaching for my cardigan, and trying to find mirrors to make sure I still looked OK.
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Parties should be FUN, not a cause of stress and anxiety over what you look like. If they’re causing you anguish— let’s chat, because I’ve been there and can help you. DM me or apply to work 1:1.
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How your diet is making you FAT

HOW YOUR DIET IS MAKING YOU FAT
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You just started a new diet. This is it. You’re gonna FINALLY lose those damn 10 lbs.
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The first few days you’re on fire. You resist the cookies at work, skip dessert, and order a salad when your friends all get fries. (Damn their fries smell good. But you RESIST and don’t give in no matter how much you want them).
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After a few days of this you start to get hungrier. Turns out plain salads aren’t that filling after all.
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You decide to have “just a bite” of the cookies at work or “just a bite” of those fries at dinner. (One bite can’t hurt right?)
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But damn. Curly fries are amazing. And it’s been such a stressful, exhausting day at work.
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“Just a bite” turns into “just another bite” and before you know it you’re diving headfirst and have finished all the fries… (plus a burger& a bunch of ice cream because hey might as well while you’re at it right?)
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You justify it by saying that your day was super hard so you “deserve it.”
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The next day you wake up bloated, feel fat as fuck, and hate yourself.
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“What is wrong with me? Why did I eat so much? Why can’t I just control myself?”
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You hardly eat anything all day because you don’t deserve to eat…. but then get super hungry at night and proceed to overeat again. And the cycle repeats.
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Every time this happens you always blame it on -your lack of willpower -your love of food -your hard day -etc
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Want to know the REAL reason you can’t sustain a diet?
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It’s because you aren’t on a sustainable diet.
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Your going way over your intake every time…. putting you in a calorie surplus and making you GAIN FAT.
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The only diet that will work is the one you can stick to. So make it sustainable.
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This doesn’t have to be your life. You CAN look in the mirror naked and feel sexy as hell instead of hating yourself and crying to your boyfriend because you feel fat. (Yup been there lol).
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Let’s do this together 💪🏽. Apply to work 1:1 with me. Decided to open up a few more spots in Feb. Invest in yourself and stop wasting your time with this shitty cycle, because honestly, it’s not getting you anywhere. >> 1:1 Online Coaching Link in bio